I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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