you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
