I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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