Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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