He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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