Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
