FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
