Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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