I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
