Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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