I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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