we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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