Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
