the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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