My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize