he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
whose parrot is this?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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