I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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