Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
