nut hugger
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you didnt know i had herpes?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
