There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize