Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
