my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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