we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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