Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Shame - the story of my life.
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