well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
