Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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