Come see our sink grown plant.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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