dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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