no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
