Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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