Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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