Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
