and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
