I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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