so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
