sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
