I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
