Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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