idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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