I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
