This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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