one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
