i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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