i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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