I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
