i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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