Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

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  (757): he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark. http://tfl.nu/hjt5
  Replies (15) Good night (3297) Bad night (1468)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I wish I could drop acid with the muppets

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  (239): I wish I could drop acid with the muppets http://tfl.nu/kqkl
  Replies (33) Good night (4711) Bad night (662)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

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  (937): What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease. http://tfl.nu/nyp8
  Replies (97) Good night (1300) Bad night (2874)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table

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  (813): you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table http://tfl.nu/kgfj
  Replies (25) Good night (2338) Bad night (4130)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days

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  (703): Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days http://tfl.nu/tlow
  Replies (25) Good night (5426) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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  (651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p
  Replies (28) Good night (8706) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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  (304): please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker http://tfl.nu/hr9i
  Replies (15) Good night (1201) Bad night (4109)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament

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  (603): I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament http://tfl.nu/4ewl
  Replies (5) Good night (4091) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.

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  (831): I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am. http://tfl.nu/8xi2
  Replies (15) Good night (8913) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

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  (404): It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up http://tfl.nu/zf6y
  Replies (27) Good night (1002) Bad night (4670)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.

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  (770): I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex. http://tfl.nu/726q
  Replies (11) Good night (4847) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4051) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.

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  (901): Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician. http://tfl.nu/nnrt
  Replies (7) Good night (1965) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese

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  (217): You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese http://tfl.nu/jq2v
  Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  That's going to be the title of my memoir.

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  (856): Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina. (240): That's going to be the title of my memoir. http://tfl.nu/3hns
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (194)

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