so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel