when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW