I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.