dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.