Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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