it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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