Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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