so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no, he came in my armpit
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize