um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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