i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
