Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
