2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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