Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
