whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
