I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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