so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
