Who wears a wallet chain?!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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