i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
