Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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