I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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