Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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